Women and Family (continued)

Part III: Growing Up Muslim - Rites of Passage in Medieval Islam

A. Children -

1. Having children was important to the Medieval Muslim families.

Their concern with childbearing and children is justified by using Islamic texts. Verses from the Qur'an stating "wealth and children are the ornaments (decorations) of the life of this world" are repeated to those postponing parenthood. The Prophet's saying about how "an ugly wife who's fertile (able to have children) is better than a beautiful one who is barren (can't have children)" is repeated to men of marrying age. Having children was especially important for the care of the parents as they grew old. (Most Muslim cultures have extended families (families in which aunts, uncles, grandparents, and other relatives live together in one house), with the sons bringing their wives to the family home while the women leave home to live with their husband's family.) [Read an interesting article by Nawal H. Ammar, Ph.D. about Motherhood and Womanhood in Islam (in Egypt).]

 

2. The Importance of Sons

In the Middle Ages, and until recently, having sons was an advantage for a family because they would take care of the parents and were able to work and support them. Their wives would come to the sons' homes and work there. Women traditionally moved away from the parents' homes when they married and helped support their new families, their in-laws. Having sons was considered a blessing, and daughters were not as valued. The Prophet Muhammad stopped the practice of girl infanticide (killing of girl babies) that was common for Arabs before Islam.

 

3. Arabic Names

Muslim children grew up influenced by Islam from the day of their birth. Throughout their lives they were expected to gain greater knowledge of Islam. Lives were also influenced by the culture and class into which the child was born. The child's name was selected often to identify him/her as a Muslim. For boys this might be the name of a famous person or prophet in the Qur'an: Musa (Moses), Suleyman (Solomon), or a name that might show an Islamic or cultural ideal - like: Abdul-Raheem = Servant of the Most Merciful (Allah), or Ali = "Noble, Excellent", Yasir = "Wealthy", Amir = "Prince", and Omar = "Long life". For women, a name might also be for a famous person in the Qur'an: Fatima, the Prophet Muhammad's daughter; or something charming: Basma = "A smile", Ghaydaa = "Young and delicate", Izdihaar = "Flourishing, Blossoming", and Jameela = "Beautiful".

 

Infants were often given Arabic names which have a meaning. [Learn more about Muslim names: Female names and Male names in Arabic (with their meaning in English) are listed. Does your name have an Arabic equivalent? What does your name mean?]

 

When a name was selected in Turkey, it was given by an imam (religious leader) or an elder person in the family by holding the child in the direction of Mecca and reading from the Qur'an into his left ear and repeating his name three times into his right ear. (This was like the child's introduction to Islam, similar in some ways to a Christian child's baptism.)

Last names and lineage: The last name of a child was often the first name of the child's father. For example, Ibn Battuta means "son of Battuta". Fatima bint Muhammad means "Fatima, daughter of Muhammad" or "Aisha bint Abu Bakr" means "Aisha, daughter of Abu Bakr". From names we can learn much about the person's lineage. For example, the Prophet Muhammad's full name was Muhammad ibn Abdullah ibn Abdul Muttalib ibn Hashim ." (His lineage, it is said, can be traced back to the Prophet Abraham.). In some cases, we know people from history from the place they were from. For example, Al-Farghani was a famous astronomer. His name means "the person from Farghan" and Al-Idrisi, the famous map maker, was "the person from Idris". Al- also means, "the one who is", like the Prophet Muhammad was called "Al-Ameen" which means "the Honest one" in Arabic. The "Al-" in front of a name is like a nickname.

 

 

4. Circumcision

 

Circumcision is practiced in most Muslim cultures. It is a rite of passage that represents changing from a boy to a man. It is performed in Turkey about age 7. In Roots by Alex Haley, the Mandinka boys of West Africa were about 10. (In Jewish tradition it is performed by a rabbi, a Jewish religious leader, about a week after birth.) Learn more about Birth and Childhood in Turkey and the Turkish Circumcision ceremony for boys about age 7. [Note: Circumcision is not required nor mentioned in the Qur'an, but Muslims generally follow this tradition which Arabs and Jews followed, at least since the time of Abraham. Circumcision is removing the foreskin of the penis, an ancient tradition, long before Islam. It was believed this prevented diseases and infections later in life.]

 

 

5. Education

 

Education was highly valued by the Muslims. Education was primarily (mostly) about religion and the text was the Qur'an. The Qur'an had to be memorized, a task that took from one to two years, depending upon the student.

When a child became seven years of age and if he showed respect to the school and understood ritual cleanliness, he was allowed to go to the religious school (masjid). But if the child was not prepared or misbehaved, it might be later. The Prophet Muhammad said, 'When the child is seven years old, order him to say prayers and when he is ten years old, chastise (make, threaten with punishment) him to do so.' (Hadith: Mishkaat).

 

When a student completed memorizing of the Qur'an, there was a special celebration and the child became the center of attention. The student was showered with gifts and sweets in a celebration which lasted for as long as one week. During the celebration, the students and teacher would go around the village reciting prayers and hymns and the families of the village would come out to greet them. The proud parents would prepare all sorts of foods, and a sheep was usually slaughtered for this important occasion. Abridged from Traditional Islamic School at Motawa'a (UAE).

 

But some devoted their whole lives to education. They went to some of the earliest and finest universities in the world (in Cairo, Damascus, Baghdad, and Mecca) to become true Islamic scholars, judges, and scientists.

 

B. Becoming an Adult

In most cultures, when children reached puberty they were treated like adults and were given adult responsibilities. Women could marry and many did at an early age. Men usually married a few years later. Both the young men and women (even at the ages of twelve or thirteen) would be expected to work. In fact, they may have been working much earlier! Boys were often trained in a job that their family members followed. For example, the son of a farmer would most likely be a farmer. The son of a merchant would be trained to become a merchant. Young men would be expected to join in combat if needed. There was no idea of "being a teenager" - a time of freedom from hard work and serious responsibilities, like there is today in the United States.

If the child had learned the Qur'an (usually by the age of ten) and knew the rituals, they would be allowed to go to the mosque like their fathers and mothers.

 

C. Marriage and Motherhood

1. Finding a Mate

Families often arranged for the marriages of their children at an early age. This was partly because family was so important. "Dating" and "Falling in Love" as we know it today did not happen. Young men and women were not given much freedom to go out into society to meet young men. Therefore, the parents usually arranged everything.

 

2. Marriage customs vary throughout the Islamic world, but Islam has influenced the ceremony and even the behavior of the couple before and after marriage. The Qur'an does not allow for sexual relations before the marriage and has strict behavior requirements for both the male and female about sex and adultery. [To learn about many marriage ceremonies, go to the next page of this website.]

3. The importance of Mothers - "A man came to Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) asking, 'O Messenger of Allah, who among the people is the most worthy of my good companionship?' The Prophet (PBUH) said, 'Your mother.' The man said, 'Then who is next?' The Prophet (PBUH) said, 'Your mother.' And the man said, 'Then who is next?' The Prophet (PBUH) said, 'Your mother.' The man further asked, 'Then who is next?' Only then did the Prophet (PBUH) say, 'your father.' (Hadith al-Bukhari)

D. The Five Pillars of Islam Guided Adults

Being a good Muslim requires following the Five Pillars. (These are Faith, or belief in one God, and that Muhammad is His prophet; Prayer five times a day facing Mecca and going to a mosque on Friday, the holy day; Charity (giving to the poor or to mosques, hospitals, etc.); Fasting during the holy month of Ramadan from sunrise to sunset; and Pilgrimage or making a trip to Mecca if possible, at least once in a lifetime.) These Pillars of Islam influenced the lives of Muslims throughout their lives. Moreover, the Qur'an and Sunna (Hadith, or Traditions of the Prophet) tell of how Muslims are supposed to lead a good life and describe in detail the traditions and practices at the time of the Prophet Muhammad.

Going on the Hajj was a religious rite of passage. The person who came back from the hajj was more respected that before, and he would often add to his name - "al haji" (the pilgrim) which meant he had made the pilgrimage. The family was very proud of their members who had made the pilgrimage and would celebrate with a great feast when they came home. In some cultures, the home of the pilgrim would be painted with pictures of the Kaaba and calligraphy to celebrate the special event.

E. Death and Burial.

In most Muslim societies in the past, the body was buried. There was a ritual washing of the body, then it was put in a white shroud (cloth wrapping). At burial, the face was turned toward Mecca and prayers were said. Muslims believe in an afterlife: heaven and hell and a Day of Judgment. In Islam, the behavior in this life determines the future life. Below is a 13th century Baghdad painting of a burial (from IslamicArt), with mourners dressed in white, grave diggers, and the body in a shroud.

The Funeral is described (adapted and shortened from IslamicArt site, encyclopedia): "Muslims around the world bury the dead as quickly as possible, preferably before sundown on the day of death. Cremation is not practiced in Islam. The corpse is cleaned by a person of the same sex as the deceased and is given a ritual ablution (washing)... The body typically is shrouded in a winding cloth. However, martyrs (people who die for a holy cause) are buried as they died, in their clothes, unwashed, for their wounds bear testimony to their martyrdom. A funeral prayer is performed for the recently dead by the mourners and by anyone present in the mosque at the time. ... As the mourners carry the corpse (dead body) through the streets to a mosque for prayers or to its resting place, the Profession Of Faith is spoken. As the procession passes people rise, join in the chanting, and help carry the coffin for a short distance. Lying on the right side with the face toward Mecca, the body is buried in a grave. Burial is not usually in the coffin, but burials with the body only in a wrapping are typical. For several days after death, it is common to recite prayers in remembrance of the deceased (the dead person). When a deceased person is mentioned, the words rahimahu Allah (for a man) or rahimaha Allah (for a woman) are spoken. This phrase asks that God be merciful upon the deceased. Other customary practices exist but differ from community to community and from nation to nation."

Also read about death and burial in Turkish Odyssey. See a Turkish miniature painting called "Mourning of the Death of Muhammad", Siyer-i Nebi: The Life of the Prophet, Istanbul, 1595 in Topkapi collection. Below is a Persian miniature probably painted by Shaykh Zadeh, from a Khamsa of Nizami, 1494 in Herat. It is an illustration for a love story.

Go to Page One: Women

You are here at Page Two: Growing up Muslim

Go to Page Three: Marriage and Wedding Ceremonies

Go to Page Four: Famous Muslim Women of the Past

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